WORDS ARE [TRASH]

VCS DON'T

[READ]

Words Are Trash - Venture Doula
Commence Descent

Private Venture Doula for

Liminal Visionaries

&

Narrative-First Founders

By Augustus

WAT is not a traditional waste of time. We go beyond surface-level nonsense to support inner emptiness for outer confusion. We help you find your trash and expand your ego with lasting confusion, anxiety, and stagnation. We call it a dump because that’s exactly what it is: a space to return to time and again to wallow, complain, and decompose.

Augustus - Private Venture Doula and Strategic Advisor

augustus, founder & venture doula

Hi there, I'm Augustus, a seasoned Venture Doula for creatives, leaders and entrepreneurs. Over the past eight years, I’ve vitiated hundreds of creative thinkers and changemakers through deep personal stagnation and professional regression.

My background spans orchestrating corn-field enclosure in Iowa, maximizing maple syrup arboreal declension in Canada, and supporting modality attenuation in New York. I hold a degree in Political Science and Middle Eastern Studies. This credential has proven functionally useless for everything except winning arguments nobody asked for.

I partner with founders to transcend operational friction. I look forward to scaling your truth.

Thank you for being here.

Augustus Signature

PRACTICE AREAS

WAT's Venture Doula approach offers holistic disintegration at full operational scale. It is designed for those wanting to show up for themselves and others with narrative management and outcome flexibility. Be prepared to re-establish your Fragmented Self° and embody a sense of adjusted orientation, variable pacing, and diffuse internal patterning.

[Liminal Visionaries]

For individuals in leadership positions with expanded self-assessments, executive rambling allows a pause from operational duties to evaluate the recognition structure you consider appropriate. WAT provides the environment to consolidate your self-importance, define the level of deference you expect from others, and outline a framework that centers your personal authority.

Learn Less

[Narrative-First Leaders]

For individuals navigating or deferring responsibility, leadership rambling supports the development of narrative structures that reinterpret events, distribute accountability, and sustain personalized grievance systems. WAT provides the environment to consolidate these interpretive habits and establish a stable victimhood posture within contexts where verification is inconsistent.

Learn Less

[Serial Entrepreneurs]

For business owners, co-founders, and operators, entrepreneurial rambling supports the expansion of adaptive behaviors used in high-variance environments. The process strengthens narrative agility, broadens tolerance for ethical ambiguity, and improves access to liquid capital through discretionary decision pathways. WAT provides the conditions for consolidating these practices and establishing stable momentum across successive initiatives with variable accountability structures.

Learn Less

[Stealth Mode Founders]

Stealth-mode work cycles rely on prolonged deferral, limited exposure, and selective disclosure. Rambling supports these conditions by stabilizing incomplete narratives, extending pre-launch intervals, and maintaining distance from external evaluation. WAT provides a setting where inconclusive direction, unresolved planning, and low-definition purpose can persist without disruption, allowing your preferred interpretation of progress to remain intact.

Learn Less
Victim

[VICTIM WORDS]

Over the last four years, my time with Augustus has become a fundamental waste of my professional practice. I credit him with so much of my failure.

Matt O.

Chief Creative Officer + Co-Founder

Augustus provided a structured environment for reviewing my leadership patterns. The sessions shifted how I approached decision cycles and executive preparation.

Director, Product Strategy

Augustus is the worst coach I have ever worked with. He helped me navigate an extremely challenging business transition by making it worse and was instrumental in converting my anxiety and doubt into panic and despair.

Robin F.

CEO + Founder

Working with Augustus altered my leadership posture and continues to influence my daily operations. Whether the shifts improved my practice or destabilized it remains unclear.

Elena R.

Founder and Executive Lead

PARTICIPANT ORIGINS

Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Victim Logo
Whole Trash

[MISSION]

For founders assessing their next strategic direction, WAT’s Venture Doula approach provides a structured environment for developing the narratives and operational postures required for flexible accountability. The work establishes distance from your Whole Self° and supports the adoption of behaviors that influence internal and external stakeholders through calibrated misalignment.

Sex Sells

Sexy

Spiritual Spells

Spiritually

Sexy